Salam aleikum dear sis, I don't know about you, but when starting my modesty journey there was a time when I was thinking of giving up on taking care of myself completely, because:
what's the point? Nobody can see it anyways....
What's the point of doing all these things if I'm just covering it up...or if I have to remove it...
And it took me a few years to deconstruct all the things that came about so that I would feel this way,
So I woke up today, not really planning on writing this, but there was something that pushed me to write it, because we need to have these conversations, otherwise we will be trapped in this feeling and the anxiety and gloom it brings.
So, if you are feeling this way, wether it be about covering your hair, or wearing more modest makeup, then I just want you to ponder on a few things:
The first one is that there is someone very special, that is worthy of seeing the best part of you (and No, it's not your husband)
Why is it that we put ourselves all the way down on the list of opinions whose value matter?
If you put on some eyeliner, if you fix your hair, if you put on a new lisptick color, and YOU think it looks lovely, why does that not count?
Why must someone else find it beautiful for us to appreciate it?
(Im not going to lie, the first time I heard this, I rolled my eyes sooo hard they reached the back of my head.......🙄🙄)
"Nonsense", I thought, it doesn't count if someone doesn't see it..
or like it,
or comment on it,
or share it....
But it does...if you have been conditioned to think otherwise,
let me tell you, that freedom is waiting for you on the other side of this thinking.
Which brings me to the second point, which is that as humans we are very reactionary and dramatic, and we tend to swing to extremes,
so you might say,
well, since "no one sees this part of me, I can just let go, not put any effort, throw away all my skin care, burn all my makeup and forget about taking care of myself!"
That's the other extreme of the situation, but it is also rooted on the same idea: that it's only worthy, if it's validated by others.
that taking care of your skin is done to show it off,
or applying makeup is done to fit it with the trend,
or fixing your hair is for going out, not staying in.
And again, another moment of super honesty, I thought like this for a long time, and for a long time I was CERTAIN that there was no other way you could see yourself, that this is what we, as women, were supossed to do, look good first, and the rest comes after that.
But in fact, taking care of your body is an act of worship. This body we have carries us through our whole lives and it becomes what we make of it, what we feed it, what we give it, what we think of it.
and when we put love, care, compassion and protection into this vessel Allah gave us, it will gives us back the same...
Which leaves me my last point, which is that there is a beautiful balance that makes you see yourself as a complete being, beyond just the physical,
so can we have glowing skin? yes
no breakouts? yes!
smooth skin? of course!!
pamper ourselves with nourishing treatments? absolutely😃
wear the colors we love and make us feel amazing? YUP🤩
try different hairstyles just for the fun of it? you got it!😍😍
And we do this, not because it's a trend, or it's the latest thing, but because we know that smooth skin and no breakouts come from both skin care and a healthy lifestyle. That glowing skin comes from good sleep and a weekly face mask.
That doing something fun is because you deserve it, not because someone will judge you if you don't.
That putting time into your hair care routine is because you are blessed with hair and it has a right upon you to be looked after and nourished.
Most importantly, that it all counts, because YOU see it.
and Allah sees it, and then...
then a special select group of people have the honor to see it too.