The hijab can seem like a daunting step to make when you are a new muslim. If you have read, or asked or hung out in comment sections, you might feel like there is a lot of pressure that comes with it.
It could feel like a natural step, or like a jump across a cliff.
In this post, I wish to share some of my experience and advice, being a convert to Islam for 13 years and also having gone through the decision, and ups and downs of the hijab journey.
my first hijab style
Wearing the hijab: the decision
One of the first things you will hear a woman who has converted to Islam is the question of the hijab. A lot of people ask with good intentions, but the questions can take away from the feeling of personal choice.
So if you are contemplating this step, my first advise will be to sit with yourself, with your own thoughts, with your own reasoning, and most importantly with the words from our Creator, to come up with your decision.
Hijab is more than a scarf on your head. You are stepping into a mindset, a perspective shift. With this cloth, and the attitude that comes with it, there are means of protection and empowerment.
For me, the decision to wear hijab came easy, but (and this is a big one) I was away from my non-muslim family during this time, which played a huge role in the ease in my decision. Also social media wasn't what it is today, so I did not have the barrage of comments, judgments, praise or pressure from these outsiders to affect me. I think it made a big difference, and that is why I recommend you limit these influences and only rely on correct knowledge, good friends you trust, and your intuition.
After the decision: taking action
So the decision is made, alhamdulillah, and now you have to face the questions, the how-to, the pressure of becoming this 'new person".
My advise to you is this: any action moving forward is better than no action. And with each one you make, things will start becoming more clear.
my discovery phase arount 2013😁
When I made the decision of hijab, I had no clue where to start (again, social media was not as filled with hijabi content as it is now)
So I had what I like to call now, a discovery phase, which was me getting to know the "hijabi me". At this point I realized that hijab was not only the all-black ensemble I had been exposed to through american media. But that along with those, there was a whole array of cultures that had embraced the hijab and that made modesty work with their own country, weather and circumstance.
I was so happy to discover muslin women from Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia at this point,(and by the colors and styles of my pictures you can tell their influence). Their tropical weather and affinity with color really helped me practice many ways to wear the scarf.
So if you are in the midst of taking action, here is a strategy that might help:
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Take it slow : try wearing hijab at home first(if it's safe), and play around with different styles and fabrics until you feel comfortable. Then you can try wearing it outside (I would go on walks on a park close by during times there wasn't a lot of people around)
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Find one sister support-account or meetup : if you are reading this post, you already have one sister that can support you (👋🏽) but online communities, a masjid that is close to you, or a WhatsApp group of like minded sisters is great.
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Let go of perfection : this is the biggest block you can have. As muslims we worked based on our intention, knowing that we are rewarded by our effort, not the perfect outcome.
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Pray for ease: Im closing with this one, because after, and most certainly before your efforts, we must ask Allah for ease, for love of Him that will push us to love everything that He commanded. And for wisdom that will make us see quickly all the benefits that come out of a "hijab mindset".
The highs and the lows of the journey
So the hijab is in your heart, and the scarf is on your head, now will come the many obstacles and realizations, the pressure and the release, as you move along on your journey. We are all going to have different situations, but the core of our problems is usually not so separated.:
there will be tightness and expansion in your journey. both are needed to grow
Struggle #1: The Pressure to Be the “Perfect Hijabi”
“I feel like I’m not good enough for hijab yet… I’m still working on other parts of my deen.”
Perfect is the enemy of good, and waiting until all the ducks are on a row to wear your hijab is setting yourself up to fail.
Please, please know that you are allowed to fail, to feel umcomfortable, to feel hot, to hate your outfit, to feel like there is no point...these are all valid feelings, and having them wont make you less of a muslim.
On the contrary, these feelings are the ones that can propel you to be better, to dig deeper into the root of your trouble, to find alternatives that will make things better.
The discomfort you feel can point to the places that need work and when you take action on those (instead of letting the idea of perfection block you) you will realize that this is where growth, maturity and wisdom come from.
Struggle #2: The fear of missing out
For many reverts, especially those who embraced Islam later in life, wearing hijab can feel like saying goodbye to a version of yourself. Maybe it’s the outfits you used to love, the hairstyles you enjoyed, or the ease of blending in. There’s often a quiet grief that comes with letting go, not because you don’t believe in what you’re gaining, but because you’re still human.
You might scroll through photos of old friends at weddings or beach trips and feel a pang of “Am I missing out?” It’s okay to feel that.
Choosing hijab doesn’t erase your past or make you immune to longing.
But what it can do, over time, is reframe what beauty, confidence, and joy mean to you. It opens the door to a different kind of richness, one that’s deeply tied to purpose and peace. You're not missing out. You're trading up, in a way that only becomes clear with time and tawakkul.
Struggle #3: The Fear of Being “Outed”
When you start wearing hijab, there’s no more hiding. You’re visibly Muslim. Even if you still feel new, shaky, unsure. For many reverts, that’s the hardest part. You might feel like you're still figuring things out internally, but suddenly the outside world sees you as a representative of Islam.
And when your family isn’t supportive , or doesn’t even know you’re Muslim, hijab can feel like a very loud announcement you weren’t ready to make. In this case, I would advise that you take a bit more time to learn about your faith, to really fall in love with it, and if your non-muslim family is around, that you use your character and actions as the things that speaks for your muslim identity.
There is nothing more beautiful than a mother accepting the islam of her children because she saw the change in her, as well as a dad with a son that has become more disciplined and responsible because of his new muslim identity. Or the kindness and generosity that Islam activates in you, let that speak for your change, and when you are ready for hijab, your family and friends will be more open to accept it.
have patience with your family and show them your best character
Struggle #4: Switching up your wardrobe
One of the most frustrating parts of starting hijab can be realizing how hard it is to find clothes that are both modest and reflect your style.
Suddenly, shopping isn’t as simple , sleeves are too short, necklines are too open, everything is cropped or tight. And if you didn’t grow up dressing this way, it can feel like a fashion identity crisis.
You might wonder, “Do I have to give up my sense of style to dress modestly?” The answer is: no, but it will take some creativity and patience.
What I have learned after going through this phase is that, just like it took you some time to find your style when you were in your teens and discovered fashion...in the same way, fiding your "hijabi self" will take some time, and some experimentation. And dont forget that as you grow and mature, so will your style.
Around 2017: the struggle was so real i taught myself how to sew!
You’re learning to dress in a way that honors your values, and that’s a beautiful, evolving journey. You don’t have to have it all figured out on day one.
You Don’t Have to Go All or Nothing
Remember that we work based on intention, that perfection is not what Allah expects from us. That you, wearing hijab when it's different, when it's hard and where it is not the norm, YOU get rewarded more than someone that has no difficulty in wearing it.
And don't forget that the reason we are told to pray 5 times a day, is so we know we have a Creator that wants to hear from us that much. Specially now that attention is so scattered in all of us, Allah is giving us attention, divine attention, so we may call out to Him, and ask for the things that feel impossible.
You don’t have to do it all at once.
You just have to keep showing up.
And one day, insha’Allah, you’ll look back and realize you did it, gently, in your own way, with Allah guiding every step.
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With love and dua,
Claudia
