Lonely Revert/Convert?

Posted by Claudia Cruz on

Praying alone, fasting alone, worshiping alone...for some muslims who have reverted (or converted)to Islam, coming from a family of non-muslims, can experience a very lonely journey.

When I became Muslim, I partially felt this loneliness because my family is Christian, but my husband was my support, along with my two very young children. Still I understand the separation when you are no longer following what your Mom, Dad and siblings are. When they would like to go to a party but you would rather stay home, or even in something as simple as food choices and the discussions and arguments that can result from them. 

It has taken me a while to realize that being a convert to Islam has many benefits that can make the adversities seem not as big as they use to. One of the most important realizations I have had, is that as a revert, you are coming into this beautiful deen as a "wide-eye wonder" child looking to learn everything you possibly can, so you have not had any cultural custom infused into the deen to make you confused. So for me, it would have been great to grow up with my mom choosing hijabs for me, and teaching me how to take whudu properly, or perhaps talking to me about the love and mercy of Allah, but I also wonder what if my mom would have had a wrong perception of hijab and would pass that on to me, or what if our culture practiced things that are not permissible in Islam, and I would grow up thinking this was allowed? What if I would have suffered any kind of abuse from any of my family members and would grow up with hatred towards them, and that would affect how I felt about Islam? We can't go back and think how many things could have happened, we must accept that whatever is happening is the will of Allah, and if Allah decided you would accept Islam after being christan, buddist, hindu, atheist or any other spiritual denomination, that is in His perfect wisdom. 

After I reverted, I started praying and wearing hijab within six months, to me, it was just the natural thing to do, the more I read about our duties as muslims, the more I wanted to fulfill them, and I see now, how that was an immense blessing from Allah. I remember starting to wear the hijab with absolutely no knowledge of how many cultural customs are attached to it, how differently it can be worn based on how your country sees fit, how many sisters have had such a bad experience from "wearing it wrong" that they have given up completely, how some men feel they can police sisters on the way they cover and how it can feel that the level of your Islam can be determined by how long your scarf is. All of this things were unknown to me, and it made my wearing the hijab so much easier, Alhamdulillah (all praise belongs to Allah). 

So if you ever feel alone as a new revert, always remember that In sha Allah, you will eventually find new friends, you will create your own family, by the will of Allah, your lonely days will be over, your fasts will be filled with chatter and your iftars will be crowded with plates and prayer mats for all the special people that will now be part of your new muslim brothers and sisters! 


Share this post



← Older Post